Hypersomnia

Posted by Marion Smallwood | Filed under Poetry, Print

She doesn’t know where she likes to go.
I had to ask her four times
before she finally told me:
the movies
and New York City.
She wishes she could be more like
the people in both–
glamor twisted statues and
well-dressed habits
decorating important places.
Sometimes she likes to
put on a little mascara,
take her work-vest off
and pretend like she’s found home
for long enough to leave it.
She still lives with her parents.

I could see her sitting at the edge of her skin
wanting to know more about
who she is
so I asked her another question:
what do you want to be
when you grow up?
she told me
nothing–
she doesn’t want to be anything.
she’s not even good at being herself.
she told me that people who dream
only end up sleeping their lives away
and that she’s too old to stop
smelling like empty rooms
and fairy-tale carcasses.

but she’s only 21.

Doesn’t like to wrinkle
so she doesn’t smile
and often mistakes the shine of her hair for gray.
it looks like
midnight with the stars curled in.
has apocalyptic cracks in the lips and
finales for fingernails
and says she doesn’t know
how to last out here
like i do
and being happily abandoned
with two kids
isn’t the start she was looking for.

I feel like telling her
that I want to be like her when I grow up.
that she is beautiful like 5 feet 2 inches worth
of time spent talking to her little sister
and that I love her.
but we don’t have that kind of a relationship.

She doesn’t know where she likes to go so
I told her to go
to sleep,
I’ll watch the kids.
she did for the first time in 21 years.
woke up and told me that she dreamed
that she was dreaming
of dreaming
of dreaming.

–I gave her a hug once.
She felt like everything.

Permalink | Other posts by Marion Smallwood| October 13th, 2009

5 Responses to “Hypersomnia”

  1. Lauren Yates Says:
    October 14th, 2009 at 1:23 am

    “I gave her a hug once. She felt like everything.”

    Lovely.

  2. Jenine Says:
    October 14th, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    incredible.

  3. Aysha Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 12:17 am

    girl, that last line is illlll

  4. David Warner Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    “I could see her sitting at the edge of her skin”
    boss

    “happily abandoned with two kids”
    flame

    I mean it was aiight ; )

  5. Krystal Valentin Says:
    November 13th, 2009 at 1:42 am

    I could see her sitting at the edge of her skin
    wanting to know more about
    who she is

    …that was really incredible.

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